


Meant to be Somewhere Else

by Eggums



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Amanda Rollins bashing, Amanda Rollins is better than she was written, Angst with a Happy Ending, Episode Fix-it, F/M, Fix-it fic, Fuck the Canon, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Monster - Freeform, OOC, Ooc out the wazoo, but with soulmate au mixed in, sonny carisi can do better than amanda rollins
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-07
Updated: 2017-12-07
Packaged: 2019-02-11 17:26:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12940146
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggums/pseuds/Eggums
Summary: A fix-it fic with Soulmate!AU mixed in for 19.8, "Monster"Because fuck that canon bullshit, what even was that garbage?





	Meant to be Somewhere Else

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tobeconspicuous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tobeconspicuous/gifts).



“Detective, I’d have thought you’d be getting some much needed rest.”   
Rafael Barba frowned when Sonny Carisi didn’t respond - the younger man sat with his chin in his hand, eyes staring out into nothing. His other hand was wrapped loosely around one of three bottles of beers sitting before him.    
  
Rafael tapped his shoulder, “Sonny?”   
  
Sonny blinked and sat up, turning to greet Rafael, “Sorry- yeah, hey, Rafael.” He gave the man a wan smile, “Hi- what, uh… what are you doing here? Figured you’d be getting some sleep after everything.”    
Rafael chuckled, “I just asked you the same thing. Guess you were lost in thought.”   
  
“You did? I’m sorry… I’m just. Out of it.”   
  
“The past couple of days have been pretty rough.” Rafael gestured to the empty seat, “Mind if I join you?”   
“Yeah, please. I could use some company.” Sonny sat up straighter and watched the other man remove his coat, “Let me get you something- scotch?”    
“I’ll have what you’re having, thank you.”    
  
Sonny slid out of his seat and Rafael pretended he wasn’t watching the way Sonny’s slacks hugged his hips and ass by pulling out his phone.    
  
When the detective returned, Rafael accepted the bottle of beer with another ‘Thank you’.    
Sonny dropped into his seat with a sigh.    
“Penny for your thoughts, Sonny - everything turned out fine in the end.”    
Sonny slowly nodded his head, lips pursed, “Yeah. Everything turned out fine.”    
  
“Noah’s home with Liv and the kidnappers are in custody. No one got shot, we’ve got a bullet proof case - I’d say it’s a pretty good ending.”    
“Yeah- it’s not-” Sonny stopped. He exhaled roughly, “I’m glad everything worked out for Lieu- Noah’s safe. It’s nothing about that. I’ve got my own- my own stupid shit.” He fell silent and stared morosely at his beer bottle.    
  
“... would you like to talk about it?”    
  
Sonny looked up at the man across from him, eyebrows high in surprise, “You wanna sit here and listen to me whine?”    
“Isn’t that what friends do?”    
Finally, Sonny cracked a real smile, “We’re friends?”   
“Well,” Rafael drew out the word, “You keep calling me Rafael, so we must be.”    
  
Sonny’s smile widened for a few moments before it slowly faded away, “Yeah. Well, I doubt you wanna hear about all this…”   
“I wouldn’t have asked, Sonny. Something is clearly bothering you. Go on.”    
  
Sonny took a deep breath, “I, uh- god,” he huffed out something like a laugh, “I’m so stupid. I- I’ve been spending a lot of time with- with Amanda. I thought- something was there. Between us.”   
Rafael took a long swig of his beer.   
“So- when we went to Virginia overnight, we got a little tipsy. Ended up in a bar fight.”    
“The hell?”   
  
Sonny laughed then, “Just a few punches thrown, the sheriff was there, not a big deal. Well- we went back to the hotel and-”   
Rafael took another long swig of his beer.   
“I tried to kiss her. She- she backed off and I went to my room. Figured she didn’t want to- not while we’re both drinking. Next morning I see the- the friggen’ bartender walkin’ out of her room.  _ Buck _ .”   
“Wow.”    
  
“Virginia, huh?” Sonny scoffed, “So, yeah- I was pissed. Later on we talk and- I dunno, seemed like… maybe there was something still there.”   
“So you-” Rafael interrupted. He stopped and shook his head, “Nevermind. Continue.”   
“What?”   
“No… I reserve the right to comment until I’ve heard the entire story. Please continue.”    
  
Sonny rolled his eyes, “Alright well… she makes a suggestion. I, uh, I was gonna ask her over for dinner-”   
“Okay-” Rafael interrupted again, one hand held up, “She made a suggestion? May I ask, how?”   
  
“She… well, it was- kind of…?”   
Rafael shot him an unimpressed look, “How about you use exact wording, hm?”    
  
“Okay, uh- well,” Sonny glanced up at the ceiling, trying to remember exact wording, “She said something like, ‘You know I’m human? Sometimes I sleep with people I love, people I just met and people who are a pain in my ass.’”   
He looked back to Rafael, who was giving him the strangest look.   
After a moment the older man made a noise of disbelief and shook his head, “Oh-kaay… so… I guess that’s… so, what- are you the person she loves or the person who is a pain in her ass?”    
  
Sonny arched an eyebrow at Rafael, “What do  _ you _ think?”   
  
“That’s some kind of invitation, I guess.”    
  
“I mean… that’s what I understood, right?”    
“On some planet, sure.”   
“Right, so, I figure- maybe something’s still there. So I was gonna ask her for dinner and then the whole thing with Noah happens.”    
  
Rafael nods, “Then we’re all tromping through the woods in upstate New York, right.”    
“Right, you know, things can wait. We’re tromping through the woods and talking to the- the local cops and  _ bam _ !” Sonny barks the word and Rafael jumps, nearly toppling his empty beer bottle.    
“Sorry-”   
“Go on-”   
“Well- she- she’s got a soulmate mark,” the words trailed off into silence.    
  
Rafael immediately understands. “She met her soulmate.”    
  
Sonny nodded, “... he, uh- a cop. Of course. He… he’s nice. Helped locate the cabin where they were keeping Noah…”    
“Sonny, I’m sorry.”   
  
Sonny shook his head, “It’s not- it’s fine. It was- it was what was supposed to happen. Amanda found her soulmate. The man who completes her.”    
  
“That’s great for her,” Rafael agrees, “But that doesn’t mean you can’t feel hurt about it. You have a right to your feelings, Sonny. You’re not a bad person for not being thrilled about this.”    
“... I just thought… I do so much for her… for Jesse. I love that kid. I thought- maybe-”    
  
“I lost my first love to her soulmate, too.”   
Sonny’s head shot up, “You did?”   
  
“Yep. My friends growing up. Yelena… I loved her. I knew her  _ first,  _ from school - we were in the advanced placement classes together, she and I. Then one day I invited her to the movies with me and my friends, Alex and Eddie. She walks in, introduces herself and… bam.”    
Rafael puffs his cheeks out and mimes an explosion with his hands.    
Sonny tried to stifle a laugh and Rafael grins for a moment, “It, uh- fucking sucked, to say the least. I was- so mad. I couldn’t believe my best friend would do that to me.”   
  
Sonny nodded.   
“I didn’t talk to them for weeks and- honestly, Alex… he dealt with it really well. He let me stew for a while and then he came and talked to me and he… apologized. He knew that I was crazy about Yelena. I never shut up about her before and now- he understood how… unfair the situation seemed, even though he was the one who- won.”   
  
Rafael reached across the table and gave Sonny’s hand a squeeze, “I got over it. It just wasn’t meant to be for me and Yelena. Seeing them together- they fit. Even though they were  _ so _ different, they fit. I… know that this fucking sucks, Sonny. I’m sorry.”   
  
Sonny squeezed Rafael’s hand back for a moment before pulling away to pick up his beer bottle, “I know I’m gonna get over it, Raf. But thanks. Thank you. It’s… I’m glad I’m not the only one. I’m sorry, by the way- that… that happened to you. That you had to rehash it again here.”    
  
Rafael shook his head, “I’m not sorry, Sonny. Just means I’m meant to be somewhere else.”    
He smiled and met Sonny’s eyes. The younger man’s eyes widened for a moment, a small smile on his lips. A flash of movement behind Rafael caught his eye.    
  
At the doorway stood Amanda Rollins herself and with her, her soulmate.    
  
Sonny’s face must have said volumes because Rafael turned to follow his gaze.    
“Jesus.” When he turned back to Sonny, the detective was staring down at the table, shoulders hunched as though he were trying to hide his long body.    
  
“Sonny, we can go-”    
“Sonny!”    
  
Rafael shut his eyes. Amanda all but swaggered towards them, practically dragging the man behind her by his hand, “Barba! Hey, i can introduce you guys!”    
  
Amanda grabbed a chair from a nearby table, “C’mon honey, pull up a seat. You met Sonny, this is our ADA, Rafael Barba. Barba, this is my soulmate, Rhys Traeger.”    
  
Rafael glanced at Sonny, the man continued boring a hole into the table with his eyes, his face carefully blank.    
“Uh, nice to meet you.” Rafael shook the man’s hand, “Actually, uh- I don’t mean to be rude but we were having a private conversation.”    
  
“Aw, c’mon, haven’t we had enough stress and worry these past couple of days? Time to celebrate!” Amanda laughed, “I met my soulmate! Can you believe this? I thought I’d never-” She grinned at Rhys and Rafael had to admit - he could see the genuine happiness there in her eyes.    
He looked at Sonny.    
  
Sonny seemed to fold deeper into himself.   
  
“I figured I was gonna die some lonely old spinster!” She laughed, “I didn’t think there’d ever be  _ anyone _ I could really settle down with- a real father for Jesse-”    
Sonny was up and moving, his chair clattering to the floor behind him, “I- need to go-”    
Rafael stood up, “Sonny.” the sound of his voice, the only thing keeping Sonny from running.   
  
Rafael turned to the happy couple, thinking up an excuse for their abrupt departure but the words died in his throat at her expression.    
Exasperated. Annoyed. “Jeez… are you still sulking? You gotta get over it, Son.”    
At least Rhys had the good manners to look apologetic, embarrassed, “Amanda, don’t.”    
  
“We weren’t even dating! He just thought he was going to get lucky-”   
Sonny’s face crumpled.

  
“What the  _ fuck _ -” Rafael bit out, his voice loud even in the noisy din of the bar, “is your problem, Rollins?”    
  
Amanda blinked at him in surprise.    
  
“No, fuck that, I don’t give two shits what your problem is, Rollins. Sonny’s been nothing but a friend to you and to your daughter. It wasn’t Declan at your house, making you spaghetti and soothing Jesse to sleep when she was colicky. It wasn’t your shitty sister, it sure as hell wasn’t Amaro or hell, even Fin. It wasn’t even Rhys- no offense Rhys. So have some goddamn empathy for him being hurt when he thought there were real feelings between you two and not just you yanking him around for free babysitting.”   
  
Amanda’s mouth dropped open but Rafael steamrollered on, “I’m not here to judge you on your romantic relationships but I’m gonna say something when you’re fucking around with my friend. He doesn’t deserve to be hurt by you just because you’ve found your soulmate and don’t need him anymore. You could have some humility and recognize when you’ve been a shitty person and apologize but that might be asking too much. Grow up.”    
  
Rafael yanked out his wallet and chucked some bills on the table, “Congratulations on finding your soulmate, have a round on me. Rhys, it was a pleasure to meet you. Sonny, can we go?”   
  
Sonny stared, in awe, at the man standing before him. The entire bar seemed to be silent.    
“Y-yeah.” He glanced at Amanda.   
Amanda opened and closed her mouth, seemingly stunned into silence at Rafael’s outburst.    
  
“Uh… goodnight.” Rhys spoke up.    
“Yes, goodnight.” Rafael said. He reached over, took Sonny’s hand and lead him outside.    
  
The two walked in silence for several moments until they both started talking.   
“Rafael, thank you-”   
“I’m sorry, Sonny-”   
  
They met each other’s eyes, both chuckling softly. Sonny steered them to a nearby stoop, keeping his hand in Rafael’s.    
  
“Thank you.” He spoke again, “I appreciate you speaking up for me. You kinda took the words outta my mouth.”    
Rafael smirked, “It was too weird seeing you quiet. I had to say something.”    
Sonny smiled then, wide, dimples showing, “What’re you sorry for? You think Amanda’s gonna kick up a fuss?”   
  
The older man rolled his eyes, “Who is she gonna cry to? Her soulmate saw the whole damn thing, he didn’t say a word. No- I was apologizing because I may have spoken out of turn on your behalf when you may not have wanted me to.”   
  
Sonny shook his head, “Didn’t say nothing I wasn’t thinking. I’m just glad someone had the courage to.”   
  
“Sonny,” Rafael leaned in, “Do you have a soulmate mark?”   
Sonny frowned then and shook his head.    
“Me either. I’m glad.” Rafael grinned.    
“You are?”   
  
“Sure. That means we get to choose whoever we want to fall in love with.”    
Sonny’s eyes grew huge.    
“What do you think, Sonny? Would you like to have dinner with me?”    
“Tonight?”   
  
Rafael chuckled, “Tonight’s a little late but what about Thursday? You can come over and  _ I’ll _ cook for  _ you _ .”   
Sonny beamed, dimples making a reappearance, “You can cook?”   
“I can do lots of things you don’t know about. But yes, I can make a few dishes my abuelita taught me. Sound good?”   
  
Sonny squeezed Rafael’s hand, “That sounds… perfect.” 


End file.
